My heart stopped.

Lately, anxiety has really set in, for so many reasons. One though, is the upcoming birth of this precious child I am carrying. The labor, is not the reason, it's the "When will it happen?", "Will it be too early for her?", "Will she end up in the NICU?", questions that come into my never stopping brain.

Last night, I remember getting some really big punches, jabs, kicks, and movements right after dinner. I was then thinking that she agrees that Daddy is a wonderful cook. Then through out the night, I noticed that she wasn't really moving, and she usually is. I thought to myself, she is tired, no worries, go back to sleep. As I then woke up with Alan and I got up to check on my sleeping Bryce right before my morning shot, I started to really think about the lack of movement. Usually, I am punched or kicked as I am on my side as Alan gives me my shot, but nothing. I began to get a little panicked, then a tiny little kick, really not anything though. I started getting ready for the day, coffee, juice, even a peanut butter granola bar. I thought for sure that would do it, and again...did I feel a little something? I was really not sure and my heart was beginning to race. By now, the rest of the world was starting to open their eyes and I called Alan. I told him that I was worried and that I was going to go in to the Dr's when they opened. I then talked with Grandma Ginny and she was going to come get Bryce. Really I was calm, and I surprised myself, but I had to be for Bryce's sake. Bryce was so excited to see Grandma Ginny, she danced around the house singing her, "Grandma is coming song!"

Since this story goes on, I will get to it. Grandma Ginny and Bryce took me to the Dr's. I walked in and immediately had 4 nurses on me doing everything. The most important thing, and the first action taken was there a heart beat. It took what seemed to be a lifetime, and there it was...the beautiful music of 164 heartbeats a minute filled the room. We all took a deep breathe and I cried. Mom and Bryce then left (Bryce was looking a little freaked out) and Alan walked in. He left work to be by my side and I was so happy. I was then hooked up to the NST machine to monitor baby girl. As they were hooking me up, baby girl started kicking away. My heart started beating again. She was almost back to her normal movements, then she had a decell in her heart beat. Thankfully, it came back up again right away, but the movements stopped again. They came in and zapped her, they made me drink juice, they even shook my belly like it was a 7.0 earthquake and nothing. My heart stopped again, even though I could hear her heart beating throughout the room. Then my favorite nurse came in, and that is all that it took, one touch from her on my belly and baby was moving again. We told her that she couldn't leave the room. After being monitored for awhile and talking with the Dr, we were sent home. We were told to monitor kicks and if I felt something was wrong, go straight to the hospital as no one would be in the office for Friday or the weekend.

Can I just say, I am drained. Through out this afternoon and evening we have had a lot of movement and I am starting to relax, sort of. Please say you prayers for this little one.